1. How do you keep motherhood happy?I love being a mother. It has been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. However, it is not always characterized by butterflies and rainbows. There have been stages when I have felt like I am drowning in challenges, which sometimes makes it hard to see the joy.
in 18 years of motherhood, I have learned that sometimes I must search for happiness in moments – small flashes of time that go unnoticed and unappreciated if I am not paying attention. Even when things are not going well overall, magical moments find their way into my daily life, reminding me that life is good, despite its hardships.
Those moments are generally made up of ordinary things, such as the sticky kiss of a toddler, two of my children playing nicely together, or a sweet conversation with a teenager. Simple though they may be, those small glimpses of greatness can do wonders to lift my spirit. They are the substance of happiness amidst the chaos of life.
2. What is a unique tradition you have with your kids?
Once a month, I take one of my kids out on a date. My husband also has a monthly date with a different child. We rotate through the kids, so each child gets to go out with either Mom or Dad every few weeks.
We budget $25 for each date, and the child whose turn it is gets to pick an activity that stays within that amount.They look forward to their turn like little else. Having a few hours of undivided Mommy or Daddy time is rare in a family of seven, but these experiences provide that time. It is one of our favorite family traditions.
3. What is something you struggle with as a mother?
I have struggled with many things over the years, from feeling like a failure while trying to raise several strong-willed children, to overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, to worrying about how to help my kids overcome their own insecurities. Sometimes I feel like I make the same parenting mistakes over and over again and wonder if I will ever master my weaknesses.
4. What encouragement or advice do you have for others dealing with the same thing?
I think it is helpful to keep things in perspective. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. There are going to be times when you feel like everything is going wrong, but challenges have a way of resolving over time. (And everybody feels overwhelmed from time to time, so you are in good company.)
For instance, I have witnessed impossibly strong-willed children grow into responsible and caring young adults. When I was in the middle of trying to help mold their youthful stubborn persistence into something worthwhile, I wondered if they would ever amount to anything. I was, in fact, fairly sure that they would end up in prison. (True story.) But time and maturity worked wonders, and you would never guess now that they ever gave me trouble as kids.
I have also learned to cut myself some slack. Motherhood is hard work, and the rewards are sometimes not immediate. When I feel like a failure, I try to focus on the good things that I am doing instead of where I am lacking. I look at how far I have come in my motherhood journey and the good that I see my kids doing. That helps to remind me that they have great potential, even when they make mistakes that sometimes get under my skin.
5. Why is motherhood important to you?
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mother. I never had great career aspirations, but always pictured myself teaching a houseful of kids. And that is exactly what I have been doing for the past 18 years.
Being a mother comes with its fair share of challenges, but I cannot imagine my life any other way. It makes me sad to hear people talk about women “settling” to be mothers when they could spend their time doing other things that would result in more prominence.
I believe with all of my heart that mothers have a huge impact on society by preparing their children to do great things. While their role may not be one of prestige, it is one that cannot be ignored. They teach their children, through their words and actions, how to love, how to lead, and how to live well.
I believe that mothers can change the world in their quiet and unassuming way, one bedtime story and goodnight kiss at a time.
That is an enormous responsibility, but one that I welcome
Lynnette blogs at Simply For Real. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.
