What does a confident woman look like to you? I admit that years ago I would imagine someone who stood out in a crowd; the popular girl in high school or the loud and talkative mom in the neighborhood. I’m not saying these women aren’t confident, but that those qualities don’t define confidence.
As I’ve gotten older (just a little though), I have come to realize that maybe confidence comes from a genuine love of others and yourself. Confidence doesn’t need to be seen. I think it emulates naturally as you put these habits in to practice.
Help Others Feel Confident
I love the saying “you get what you give.” I think it is so true and applicable with almost anything. Insecurity feeds insecurity. Happiness feeds happiness. Help others feel confident and it will turn around and bring you confidence in return.
Think Less, Act More
Our thoughts control so much: our mood, our relationships, our actions, etc. But when we realize that we can control our thoughts, that is when things change. Stop telling yourself that you aren’t confident. The only person that makes that statement true is you. Instead, show me that you are confident. How? Keep reading.
Don’t Be Afraid To Say No…Or Yes
Do you show up for yourself or for others? Are you constantly feeling obligated to make others happy? That’s not your job. I’m not talking about serving your friends and neighbors. I’m talking about leaving no room for your own self-care by being everything for everyone because you don’t want to disappoint them. It’s okay to say no. On the flip side, reserve the word “yes” for when you really mean it. Say “yes” to yourself more often and to others when you can give them your best self.
Speak Positively About Others and Yourself
Our words are so important, and the way we say them leaves a lasting impression. We are far more likely to respond to positive words than to negative ones. This is especially true when talking about yourself. Women tend to belittle or degrade themselves in an attempt to be “humble.” But that isn’t humility. You don’t have to tell people that you are the greatest gift to mankind to demand respect. A positive conversation will leave others feeling inspired.
Be Aware of Your Body Language
Growing up I was always short and skinny, that is until the summer before 11th grade. Almost overnight I became one of the tallest girls in my school at 6 feet tall. My two best friends came up to my armpits and I was taller than almost all the boys. Suddenly I started hunching and slumping and slouching all the time. It wasn’t until after I was married that I started to own my height. I even bought 4 inch heels. Once I started walking tall (literally), I started receiving countless compliments, and not just on my altitude.
Know Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Understanding your own personality is key to being confident. You can use both your strengths and your weaknesses to your advantage. For example, maybe you feel tired and ornery in the afternoons. Schedule meetings or social obligations in the morning when you are at your best.
Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Stretching your limits is the only way to grow. What areas do you want to strengthen your confidence? The answer to that question might make you uncomfortable. That is where you need to encourage yourself to get out there. Stretch yourself just a little at a time.
Smile
A smile goes such a long way! Do you know what RBF means? If not, go find out somewhere else because this is a family site! I will just say to be aware of your RBF. Most of the time we don’t know it’s even happening, but it makes us look unhappy. If you’re not used to smiling all the time, it might feel cheesy. But to others it only comes off as welcoming. Promise.
Fake It Til You Make It
If all else fails, just fake it. Some days you just have to scrape from the bottom and I don’t think it’s the same as being fake or deceiving. I think it’s trying to project your best even when you might not feel like it. Believe you have confidence even if you aren’t in the mood.
Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t have. Every one of us can build and grow confidence. In fact, you have unlimited potential and abilities that can strengthen your confidence every day. You got this!
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One Response
Ok this was so good! Confidence is something I always think about, but less now that I’m getting older. I feel like tour list is spot on (as always, you’re awesome) thank you so much for this! It makes me happy knowing it is something we can all learn ❤️