Forgiveness is a word that many of us love and loathe. We love when we have been forgiven by others, ourselves, and especially when we have been forgiven by God. On the other hand, when we have been hurt or offended, it can be much harder to grant forgiveness to others. But there are two sides to forgiveness. We can’t be truly forgiven without forgiving others.
Forgiving Others
We have all had experiences when someone has hurt us or someone we love. Whether these offenses are big or small, we must be responsible for our reactions. When we choose to be offended, we choose to dwell in a space of negativity. David A. Bednar taught, “It is ultimately impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.”
In addition to choosing not be offended, we must focus on how we treat those who may have hurt us. In 2 Corinthians, Paul counsels us to love and comfort those who have caused us grief. He also says that we must “confirm [our] love toward him.”
Kevin R. Duncan taught, “One key to forgiving others is to try to see them as God sees them. At times, God may part the curtain and bless us with the gift to see into the heart, soul, and spirit of another person who has offended us. This insight may even lead to an overwhelming love for that person.”
When we are unwilling to forgive, we ultimately harm ourselves and others. But when we can open our hearts to forgive others, we will be blessed with peace.
Forgiving Ourselves
Part of forgiving ourselves is forgetting. But this involves a certain kind of forgetting. We don’t forget the sin and its effects. Instead, the memory ceases to be part of how we see ourselves. Satan convinces us that we are defined by our sins, but when we truly forgive ourselves, we are free from believing that lie.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Godly sorrow inspires change and hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Worldly sorrow pulls us down, extinguishes hope, and persuades us to give in to further temptation.”
Many of us demand too much of ourselves. We expect perfection on our path to become like our Savior, but that isn’t His way. Too often we fail to forgive ourselves when we sin or fall short. But Christ is quick to forgive when we are truly repentant, and we must be too.
President Uchtdorf also taught, “When the Lord requires that we forgive all men, that includes forgiving ourselves. Sometimes, of all the people in the world, the one who is the hardest to forgive—as well as perhaps the one who is most in need of our forgiveness—is the person looking back at us in the mirror.”
Don’t give up on yourself. Jeffrey R. Holland’s has offered clear counsel to each of us. He said, “However many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.”
Forgiveness is real. Repentance is real. And because of the Atonement, we can all keep trying and believe in ourselves again.
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One Response
This is so good! So relevant! I think it’s east to say we forgive but then harbor a little piece of anger still not understanding. But that atonement and through Christ that true forgiveness is possible and we can leave it at His feet. I love this so much! Great article!