I have lived in Utah for 36 years and was raised a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As a result, I am very familiar with the doctrine and the culture of the Church. While the doctrine is the same in every part of the world, the culture – or traditions – vary quite a bit.
However, the basic beliefs of the Church tend to have a cultural impact that distinguishes church members, practices and activities. This culture is mostly concentrated in Utah, and present to a lesser extent in other places of the world where Latter-day Saints live. I was recently reading in the Book of Mormon where the resurrected Christ is teaching the Nephites about baptism, repentance, and other doctrinal truths. I have read this verse again and again, but this time one word really stuck out to me.
In 3 Nephi 11:40 Christ says, “And whoso shall declare more or less than this, and establish it for my doctrine, the same cometh of evil, and is not built up on my rock,” (emphasis added).
It made me pause and ponder how I might be declaring more than God’s doctrine. Somewhere along the line, members of the Church have blended cultural traditions – most of which are good – with gospel doctrine. But it’s important to separate the two. God gave us 10 commandments. We have turned those into 100 commandments full of our own opinions and perspectives. So let’s start by breaking these 10 cultural commandments.
1. Thou shalt sitteth in thy reserved pew every week.
I admit that when I was growing up, I thought the 3rd row was the “Hart pew.” We could have had it engraved. And when visitors would inevitably steal it, I shot them the meanest “Hart look” I could muster. Unlike the sign on the outside of the chapel, I did not do my part to make visitors feel welcome.
2. Thou shalt provide an elaborate table-scape for every Relief Society lesson and activity.
I enjoy a beautiful center-piece, but when you bring enough props to fill half of your bench in sacrament meeting, you might want to take it down a notch. Your chosen decor should compliment, not distract from, your lesson.
3. Thou shalt only associate with people who art members.
As a member of the Church, Senator Bob Bennett was often asked if Mormons were Christian. His answer fascinated me. Every time someone asked him this question he would answer, “some are, some aren’t.” Just because someone chooses to stay home from church each week doesn’t mean they don’t have a testimony or faith. And just because someone is sitting next to you in sacrament meeting doesn’t mean they do.
4. Thou shalt go on a mission as soon as thou turns 18 or 19.
Serving a mission is an important decision which must be made in a deliberate, prayerful, and private manner. President Nelson has encouraged young men and women to serve. But let us respect those personal decisions and not be so quick to judge.
5. Thou shalt only marry a returned missionary.
See numbers 3 and 4.
6. Thou shalt either be a musical family or a sports family.
If you aren’t a piano prodigy and an all-star athlete, I literally can’t even. Like I said, most of these expectations are good! Music and sports help kids with social and behavioral issues. But they don’t get you into heaven.
7. Thou shalt not have facial hair.
This one has gained so much traction that I’m ashamed to admit I used to think you couldn’t serve in a leadership capacity if you had so much as a five-o’clock shadow. I don’t know where it originated, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth.
8. Thou shalt have at least 5 children and starteth as soon as thou gets married.
The gospel is all about family. Heck, my blog is all about family! But no prophet or commandment has ever said when you should start a family or how big it should be. That is between you and the Lord.
9. Thou shalt not wear denim, sandals, or colored shirts to church.
I believe in wearing your Sunday best. I think it shows respect to God. However, I can’t think of any scripture or conference talk that gets this specific. Wear your Sunday best. For some that might be a white shirt and tie, for others it might be jeans and a t-shirt.
10. Thou shalt have epic Sunday dinners each week with thy whole family. All 50 of them.
As members of the Church, we are known for our big families. Some of my favorite memories are eating dinners with my extended family. I love spending time with them. But that’s not the case for everyone. If you’d rather spend that time without your crazy sister-in-law or obnoxious nephew, that’s okay too.
M. Russell Ballard taught that “the best ways for us to see the spiritual purposes of the Church are to live the true, pure, and simple teachings of Christ and also to apply the Savior’s two great commandments: ‘Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart. …Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.'”
It’s not complicated. When we make it more than it needs to be, we are looking beyond the mark. The mark is our Savior, Jesus Christ. He is our foundation and the rock that the true doctrine is built upon.
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