Navigating a marriage when your spouse no longer believes in the Church can be deeply challenging, especially when faith has been a central part of your relationship. However, I believe that you can successfully maintain a strong, loving marriage despite differences in belief. Here are some principles to help you navigate this situation with faith, love, and wisdom:
1. Seek Personal Revelation and Strength from the Lord
Your first and greatest source of strength will be your relationship with God. Continue to pray, study the scriptures, attend the temple, and seek guidance through the Holy Ghost. The Lord knows your situation and will help you find peace and direction.
2. Prioritize Love and Respect
Even though your spouse’s beliefs have changed, they are still the person you married. Focus on what you love and appreciate about them. Avoid trying to pressure, debate, or argue them back into belief—this can often push someone further away. Instead, show Christlike love, which invites the Spirit.
3. Keep Communication Open and Honest
Have open and respectful discussions about what their faith transition means for both of you. Ask questions with a genuine desire to understand their perspective, and share your feelings as well. It’s okay to acknowledge that this is hard for you while also reassuring them of your love.
4. Find Common Ground
Even if your faith differs, your core values—such as family, kindness, integrity, and love—may still align. Focus on these shared values as a foundation for your marriage.
5. Set Boundaries and Expectations
Discuss how their change in belief will affect your home, parenting, and church participation. Questions to consider:
- Will they support you in raising children in the Church?
- Will they still attend church occasionally as a show of support?
- How will you handle family prayers, scripture study, and traditions?
- What boundaries do you both need to feel respected?
Being clear about expectations can prevent future misunderstandings.
6. Involve the Lord in Your Marriage
Even though your spouse may no longer pray, you still can. Pray for them, your marriage, and your family. The Lord can soften hearts and guide you toward unity.
7. Don’t Let Fear Rule Your Heart
It’s natural to worry about the eternal implications, but remember:
- God loves your spouse deeply and is still working in their life.
- Faith journeys take time, and everyone is on their own path.
- You are not alone—many faithful people have walked this path and found peace.
8. Lean on a Support System
Find trusted friends, family, or a support group (such as the Strengthening Marriage class) where you can share your feelings and receive encouragement.
9. Trust in God’s Plan
Remember, agency is a core part of God’s plan. Your spouse’s journey is between them and the Lord. Your role is to love, encourage, and be a light in their life. Over time, people’s beliefs can shift, and hearts can change—perhaps even yours as you learn to see them through God’s eyes.
10. Keep an Eternal Perspective
President Russell M. Nelson has taught that the Lord will bless those who stay faithful, even if their loved ones do not currently believe. Trust that God is aware of your marriage, your struggles, and your hopes for an eternal family.
At the end of the day, love them as Christ would. Stay close to the Lord, keep your covenants, and trust that He has a plan for both of you. You are not alone in this journey.
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