We all want the best for our kids. We want them to be happy children today who grow up to become the successful leaders of tomorrow. But all the wisdom and love in the world doesn’t necessarily protect you from parenting in ways that hold your children back from thriving, gaining independence and becoming the leaders they have the potential to be.
Some parenting behaviors we think are helping our children may actually be hindering their growth. Here are 7 tips that will bring out the leader in your child.
Don’t be too quick to rescue.
When we are hovering over our children and waiting for the first glimpse of needed assistance, we are doing them a disservice. It’s healthy and necessary for them to navigate hard things and to learn how to solve problems on their own. Helicopter parenting is short-term and it completely misses the mark in teaching leadership skills.
Recognize their individual gifts, intelligence, and influence.
Every child is born with their own gifts and personalities. When those begin to show up, it’s important to recognize and talk about them with your child, as they may not see it as something that can help and serve others.
Let them take risks.
We have somehow created a world that lives in fear at every turn. As parents we are wired to want to protect our children, and it is our job. But many times we go too far, keeping our children from experiencing healthy risk-taking behavior.
Stop excessive praise.
Telling your child that they are the smartest or the best at everything they do might make them feel special, but research shows that it has dire consequences. Kids will eventually see that that’s not the case and begin to doubt the objectivity of their parents. It feels good now, but it’s not reality. There are many ways to be positive without inflating our children’s self esteem.
Share your past mistakes.
As our children get older, they will become more independent. We need to let them spread their wings and be there for them when they have questions or need help. It’s important for parents to share their relevant mistakes in a way that helps them learn and make better choices. Share what you learned and how you felt in your experience. We are not the only influence our kids have, so we must be the best.
Don’t let your parenting be clouded by guilt.
Guess what? Your child does not have to love you every second. If they don’t get what they want, they will get over it. Don’t be afraid to tell them “no” and let them learn what really holds value and what they really need. If your relationship is based on rewarding your children for every good thing, they won’t experience motivation or unconditional love.
Practice what you preach.
Our children are watching every little thing we do. They learn so much from us, even when we think they may not be aware. We aren’t perfect, and I think that’s an important quality for our kids to see. But let’s consistently try to be the person we want them to become.
It’s important for us parents to be self-aware of our words and actions when interacting with our children and when our children are nearby. We need do more than give them a good life. We need to train them. We are their coach and greatest cheerleader.
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One Response
Yes! I love this list, its exactly what we try to do, and a great reminder every day! Parenting never ends, and I love that you point out that it does evolve as our children grow up and their understanding and change allows for our parenting to do the same. Thanks for this!