A few years ago, Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave an unforgettable sermon where he said, “this topic of judging others could actually be taught in a two-word sermon…
“Stop it!”
Simple enough, right? If you’re like me, you catch yourself judging others when you least expect it – driving to work, waiting in line at the grocery store, or picking up your kids from school. These tiny judgmental thoughts creep into our minds before we even know what hit us. And that’s the turning point. When we become conscience of it, we can then “stop it.”
Find similarities.
When we judge others, we compare their actions or decisions with our own. Sure, we all have differences, but we have even more similarities. Maya Angelou said, “we are more alike than unalike.” Find the similarity in what is apparently different. Then find yourself there as well.
Talk to them.
The majority of our unconscious judging is geared toward perfect strangers; people you have no intention of actually meeting. But what if you did? What if you knew what they were going through? They may open up to you or they may not. But if you knew even a part of their story, you would have a greater capacity, and a greater desire to love them.
Serve them.
Leave the criticism and judgments aside, stop focusing on the negative, and seek out ways to help someone, from an angle of positivity and of helping others. When we serve others sincerely, it creates an opportunity to build and strengthen a bond of love.
Stop judging yourself.
We tend to be the harshest judge when it comes to ourselves. But when you focus on the best aspects of yourself, it becomes easier to focus on the best aspects of others. Love yourself first and loving others will soon become natural.
Focus on your own life.
One thing I find myself telling my kids over and over again is to stop focusing on what their siblings are doing, and just worry about themselves. The same goes for us. When judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what others are doing, wearing, thinking, etc. Think about your own life and how you can improve.
The act of judging others is an act of pride. It involves looking to our own limited knowledge, trying to piece together a few facts and figures, and creating some sort of answer or solution to any given problem, situation, or person. But the fact is, we don’t have all the facts and figures. We don’t need them. All we need is love. {Cue Beatles music}.
Remember, judging others does not define who they are, it defines who you are.
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2 Responses
Becky,
Thank you for posting this. It is the first thing that drew me into the fellowship of the members I met after studying with the missionaries and began attending services!!! It felt so wonderful to be accepted, cared for, included. This is something the Holy Ghost has brought to my attention because I need to be aware of the way my thoughts and actions are going.
That’s great to hear, Patricia. Thanks for sharing!