My oldest child recently became a teenager and along with this milestone also came a herd of teenager friends. Big, loud, wonderful teenagers. Some might say our house is cozy: big enough for our family of six, but not equipped with a theater room or an air-hockey table. I worried that meant my kids would never want to hang out at home. Nevertheless, I knew I had to make it a place where my children and their friends wanted to be. When you know where your child is, what they’re doing, and who they’re with, you are creating a peace of mind.
I am discovering that it really doesn’t matter how big your house is or how many cool toys you have. Parents can make a conscious effort to make their home a sanctuary for kids of all ages.
Invite and Welcome
Make sure your children and their friends know that they are always welcome in your home. Say things like, “We are so glad you’re here,” or “Make yourself at home,” and “Please come again!” Teens want a place where they can put their feet up, literally and metaphorically. They don’t want to feel like they are visiting a museum, where they aren’t allowed to touch anything, sit in the wrong spot, or be too noisy.
Give Them Space
Teens don’t want a parent who is constantly looking over their shoulders. You’re the parent, not the friend. Let them do their own thing while you retreat to another part of the house. Chances are, you’ll still be able to hear them. And knowing you are in the house will keep their behavior in check.
Be Engaged
This may seem contrary to my previous point, but there will be times when you must be around and times when they want you around. Take advantage of these opportunities. Talk about issues that matter to them. Ask their opinions. Be aware of what’s happening in their lives, because it is relevant to your child. Be a present parent.
Stock Your Pantry
Keeping food and drink on hand is vitally important. Teens never stop eating, and if the kitchen is bare, they will go find food elsewhere. Find out what your teen’s friends like to eat and keep those things on hand as well. Unlimited food will make all the difference in the world.
Cater to Their Interests
Your child most likely hangs out with other kids with similar interests. Are they athletic? Invest in a basketball hoop for your driveway. Do they like music? Create a space for them to jam out. Are they gamers? Buy a few extra game controllers so everyone can play. Whatever they enjoy doing, you can accommodate them and their interests.
Set Up Guest WiFi
Kids come with phones. And often it might not even be a phone, but a device that must use WiFi in order to contact anyone. And if they’re spending significant amounts of time somewhere, they don’t want to be paying for data. Guest networks allow you to share your WiFi without giving up the sensitive stuff on your network.
Make Your Home a Safe Space
When others enter your home, how do they feel? Your home should be a refuge from the outside world – a place your children don’t feel like they need to show up any other way than authentically. Encourage them to be themselves with no judgement. Also, be clear about what you won’t allow in your home. Don’t let negative influences penetrate your walls.
By implementing these tips in your home, you will begin to see the results of your efforts. Gradually your children and their friends will begin to flock to your home as their favorite place to be. And when it seems a bit too loud and rowdy, just remember that being the local hangout is the key to knowing where your children are, who they’re hanging out with, and what they are doing.
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One Response
It’s so true! I think it is so important to have a safe place for teenagers, and we wanted our home to be that as well. So my husband and I converted a 40′ Shipping Container into a “kid cave”, with electronics, and a mini fridge. One half is the girl side, the other half is the boy side. It is well used and loved, they can have their space, but we are still close to know what’s happening. Love this post, great topic for anyone who has a teenager!